So yeah. I slept really early on Friday cause I was so exhausted after the long crit. To be honest, I was almost passing out during the crit. That was too much for me. Staring at all the images and listening to all kind of opinions and thinking in my own in a tiny room with loads of people was such an experience. So I came home straight away and basically went to bed around 7 ish. It was lovely except that people tended to disturb me still. Every single night. Yeah, go fuck yourselves, I truly mean it. I need to sleep some more, write some more and work some more too.
Woke up at 9 or 10 in the morning which was quite early for a Saturday. Then I decided to give myself a gift. Well, by saying that, I mean I gave myself the chance to go to London and go to somewhere I don't know and forget about everything else. And I did. Love it. Randomly, Leicester Square was chosen to be the destination. Not really, more like the starting point. Then I started walking around without knowing where the hell I was about to go to. It was lovely. I got lost for a while and it was so me. Vulnerable but smart and tough too. I found my way back, of course. And went to Magma for the third time. Found this quote: "The simpler your idea and your presentation of it is, the more likely you're going to success", well, or at least something sounds like that. That quote points right at me! I need to learn to shut up. I'm too nervous and insecure all the time and so I've always tried to hard to show that I am not. Showing your weakness is not weak, it's really brave. Remember that, Jazzy!
They say graphic design is about communication in a visual way. So now I'm not really
sure if I've chosen the right course or not. Cause I'm not good at either speaking or making visual things (yet). I love writing. That's like the only way I could use to express myself and my ideas and such. And not to mention that everyone keeps saying that if you can't explain your idea in one sentence then it's rubbish. Obviously, I can't do that. I'm such a wordy person. Typing and writing words out is just the most simple way for me to communicate. Well, maybe I'm just 'communicating' with myself then since (almost) no one is reading this blog. But anyway, I'm having trouble here. I just want to go around, take photos and write everything down. How does it sound like? Fuck graphics!
Also found the best Korean restaurant in London. They've got the best kimchi and beef rib soup I've ever tasted. And well, having the best meal all alone is lovely. Sometimes, you don't need people, you know. Friends are sweet but if they can't value you, fuck them!
Tomorrow is gonna be a long day for me. Gotta go to town, get a new sketchbook, French textbook, a lunch box, a set of cutlery and work on my weekend tasks. And also have to plan for next week. Just to remind myself, email Lucy and continue taking photos for campus lookbook on Monday, check out volunteer oppotunities and sign up for it, revise French lessons, Sports Card plus dance plus yoga and bank letter! That's all for now to Monday. Oh and one more thing. Smile up! And please don't fake it. Just smile because you want to smile. You know that life will smile back at you (eventually) if you smile at it.
What's done is done so please don't suffer too much. Stay strong and appreciate the time you have.
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