doughnuts.

I'm jealous with those who smile all the time. Well or maybe not. I just wonder how they could ever do that? Keeping their face look happy always and always? It sometimes makes me feel like sreaming at them 'what the hell is wrong with your face?'. Is that because your life is so sweet and smoothly run? Or is it because there's actually something wrong with you either physically or emotionally? It is almost impossible for me to do the same thing. Even when I was really young, I couldn't do the same thing. There has always been something come up that disturbs my happiness, innocent, faith, trust and courage.

When things go wrong, I normally don't complain. What I do is to sigh to myself 'well, it's just the story of my life'.

But for a moment, I want to ask why. Why me? Why always me? Why don't I have the sweet life you have? Why don't I have the sweet memory like you do? Why are my lucky days just your normal lovely days and my alright days meaning shitty days for you? Why don't you know pain? Why don't you ever suffer from poverty? Why don't you have the nightmare come true like I have?

I know I am so lucky to be here right now, to be who I am, to know what I know. But it hurts still...

Chẳng biết viết gì nữa cả. Thực sự là muốn viết và muốn viết rất nhiều. Mà ngay giờ phút này thì chả biết phải viết gì hết. Nhiều khi từ ngữ nó cứ trôi tuột đi đâu đó.

Có nhiều lúc chẳng hiểu nổi bản thân muốn gì, thích gì, cần gì và nên làm gì.