the outsider.

sometimes, i'm so lonely that i just want someone to talk to me. not someone. you. i want you to talk to me. to stand next to me, to pat my head gently, to kiss on my forehead, to hug me tight. just that. you don't have to tell me that things will be alright. you don't have to say a thing. just be there. for all that, i will cry. not that because it makes me sad. but because i know you are there for me, and even if i fall, it will be less painful when i have you in my life. i hope you will be there. one day. before i'm too tired, too lonely, too sad to live by.

i don't like it when people say they're little broken inside. i don't even understand where that idea comes from. there's absolutely nothing broken inside me. at least, not my soul. if there could be anything possibly damaged, i'll call that health. i simply think that we all change and we change all the time. we gain something. then we lose something. then we lose some more. then we gain some less. that circulation keeps going until the day we stop breathing. it doesn't matter how much we gain and how much we lose. it's about how we feel at that every single stage of our life whenever we either gain or lose something. well basically, i just want to say, you're are not broken, drama bitches.

even though i appear as if i'm quite a social person, i prefer to stay warm in my room, with a cup of tea, some small bites, nice music and few interesting pieces of writing. i don't like people to interfere my thoughts, my world. they could come and join me. i'm ready to spare my time and warmth with them, but if they want me to leave my tent of living and to change to be a 'better kind of person' then no. i'm fine. just fine. i prefer to be alone and peaceful than being forced to change, to live the way i don't want to live. i have this one life to live and i hope i don't have to cry too much, to be stressed too much, to be tired too much.

i'm gonna make a cup of tea now. and then i'll soon off to bed. bye world.

who the fuck wants to fuck with me, you better handle this well. once i get mad, it's hard for me to go back. dear.